


What's in a name?

by MoshPitCrusader



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Minor Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21992107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoshPitCrusader/pseuds/MoshPitCrusader
Summary: Lex just loves ruining things for her, huh.OrLena finds out the Big Damn Secret and doesn't know how to cope.
Kudos: 10





	What's in a name?

**Author's Note:**

> Be warned, this doesn't have a happy ending. I might add a second chapter that does have one but for now, the mood will stay melancholy.

She was too good at this. Goodbyes, that is. It seemed to be a constant in her life, it was like some cosmic joke she was never a part of. 

  


And it was always the people she felt safe with, people she cared for. Her mother, Lionel, Veronica, Jack, Sam, Lex. Sometimes it was death, sometimes they left her, sometimes she left them, and sometimes she killed them. 

  


Of course, she had grown too comfortable in her current situation. She was becoming someone one might even call normal. She had friends and family, she wasn’t being assassinated as often, her mother wasn’t meddling in her life too much. So her dearest brother Lex threw one last wrench in her plans. Another cosmic joke, if you will. After his final battle with Supergirl, he’d fallen into Lena’s hands. So she shot him _as any sane person would_. But of course, it couldn’t be that easy for her. So he decided to tell her a little secret. His last words were mocking as he told her the name of National City's heroine. " _Kara Danvers is Supergirl._ "

  


He died laughing, choking on his blood as she watched. Lena looked down at her dead brother with a blank look in her eyes, her hands shaking. She walked out his hideaway numb, a hole in her chest where her heart was. Several sentiments ran through her head after that fiasco, most of them including a phrase she thought she had gotten rid  of. 

  


“ _It’s because I’m a Luthor._ ” 

  


* * *

  


After that day, her life went back to some semblance of normalcy, and everyone was ignorant of the fact that the Luthor knew the not-so-secret secret. Kara _still_ came by for their lunch dates every day, Lena _still_ came over for game nights every Friday, the Superfriends _still_ hung out with her, but it all felt fake. She didn't feel the same warmth in the pit of her stomach when she laughed with them, didn’t feel acceptance when Alex nodded her way, didn't feel the same blush creep up on her when Kara flashed her megawatt smile, she didn’t even feel anything when Kara got especially physical with her affections. All of it was replaced by a sense of emptiness that wrapped around her neck and eyes. She felt like the same child that was left with the Luthors, scared and alone, but unlike her younger counterpart, she had no hope of a better future. She wasn’t a naive child anymore. She felt her name choking her once more, like some cursed collar for a dog. 

  


She tried to cope with her newfound emptiness. She threw herself into her work and drank like there was no tomorrow. But the hole grew larger still, and so she worked- and drank- more. She never left her office at some point. Kara came once for lunch, trying to find out what was wrong with her friend. Lena told Jess to not let her in- not like Kara couldn't get in if she wanted to. Catching onto her self destructive habits, Jess made sure she ate and slept at least twice a week. 

  


When she slept she would dream of soft voices and lullabies. Blonde hair and the smell of potstickers. Strong arms and raucous laughter. _Better times._

  


* * *

  


  


Kara called at least three times a day and sent periodic texts that voiced her concern for Lena’s health. Lena scoffed every time, even if she desperately wished for that to be true. Kara wasn't truly concerned though, she learned her lesson. But after about three weeks of this, something snapped. 

  


Supergirl- Kara- landed on her balcony with a soft thud in the dead of night. The girl of steel knocked on the glass gently, asking to be let in. Lena didn't look up from her computer, barely letting out a huff of annoyance. Supergirl took it as a yes though, and let herself in. With a shaky inhale, Supergirl opened her mouth. "Lena, are you-" 

  


"Don't you _dare_ say another word, Kara." 

  


"What? You're mistaken Lena- Ms. Luthor, I'm not-" Lena simply turned around and raised a brow. 

  


"I'm not stupid, in case you forgot. I've known for weeks, which I personally find insulting. I thought we were friends-" 

  


"We are-!" 

  


"Don't interrupt me. I thought we were friends, and somehow I'm practically the last person on the planet to know your super-secret?" 

  


Taken by surprise, Supergirl fumbled while replying. "You're not the last person to know! I mean... Ms. Grant doesn't know- _wait, no, she definitely knows_ \- ah, Snapper doesn't! And..." Supergirl trails off, clearly out of people who don't know her big damn secret. "I was going to tell you!" 

  


This reassurance did the exact opposite of “ _reassure_ ”. In fact, Lena felt worse. She really was the last to know. So it was decided that she put her demons to rest. 

  


"When." 

  


"Huh?" 

  


"When were you going to tell me." 

  


"Soon?" 

  


Lena couldn't believe her eyes. " _Really_. Are you fucking joking? The best answer you have is soon? We have known each other for three years Kara, and the best answer you can give me is _soon_? _Is this a fucking joke to you_?" 

  


"I swear I was going to tell you-" 

  


" _I swear to God_... Your regret is of no use to me anymore, now get out." 

  


"Lena." 

  


"Get out of my office." 

  


" _Lena_ -"

  


"Don't Lena me you ass, get out of my office before I make you. Now get!" Of course, Lena couldn't truly make her get out of her office, she had Super Strength for god’s sake. But they both knew Kara would listen. _Fucking Girl Scout_. 

  


And with that Supergirl deflated. Her expression morphed from confusion and shock to one akin to a kicked puppy. Lena almost felt bad.

  


Almost.

  


She slowly backed out onto the balcony, and with a blink of an eye, shot off into the sky. Lena sighed and turned towards her desk. Fumbling for a bottle of whiskey she was sure she left on her desk- _where had it gone?_ \- she tried to calm herself down. 

  


There was no rest for the wicked in these parts.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this was a whole ass event. I wrote this in the later hours, feeling like things could get just a little worse for Lena. I love her though, so if my ADHD lets me, you'll be seeing another chapter. 
> 
> I wonder where her booze went...


End file.
